Updated: Aug 4
Relationships are perfectly imperfect. They are full of flaws, baggage, past relationships, failed dreams, lost hopes, but most of all love and faith. No two people are exactly alike and I've heard if two people agree on everything then one person is not needed. This premise alone makes co-existing with one another even that much more difficult. How do you approach the differences that make you an individual and would it be bliss if you had someone who agreed with your every thought, desire, and want? Is that truly possible or would that person only compromise who they are in efforts to make the other happy. Am I saying that conflict is good and necessary not really, but I am saying it is inevitable, un-advoidable, and needed in any relationship both healthy and unhealthy.
Let me start by first saying pick your poison. What I mean by this is know what you will and will not accept. Set reasonable expectations for you, your mate, and your relationship. With that being done, you accept that there will be differences, there will be occasional selfishness, laziness, and uncleanliness but there is an acceptable level that you are willing to deal with in order to maintain a happy relationship. Sounds good right? The problem is that we get in relationships before we have determined what those expectations are. Before you know it you're either constantly bickering, complaining, or compromising because you didn't know yourself before you were attached to someone else. It's not too late. Find yourself. know who you are, love you unconditionally and know what it takes to make you happy.
Understand the needs and wants of your heart. What you can take or leave; then and only then will you know what your poison is. If you are already in a relationship, spend time alone, work on your spiritual growth, fix those flaws you keep complaining about and feel good about being who you are. This doesn't mean neglect your mate, walk away, or tell them we need a break. Contrary to what people believe you can work on yourself and continue a relationship. The reason I suggest not immediately walking away is because you may find that things are not that bad, you are generally happy and the differences you have are that of a normal couple, with differing views, upbringing, causes, etc. However you may also find that once you have found you, that you have been compromising yourself, your beliefs, wants, desires and dreams for the good of someone else, and at that time you will finally have the strength to walk away if need be.